Finding my way through Eat Pray Love

ok so i've mentioned before that i like to read the books before i watch the movie so eat pray love was no exception and i was not disappointed. the movie was wonderful but that is to be expected with julia roberts but it was more than just a great movie it was seeing someone experience the feelings i was going through and knowing that even though this was a movie it was based on someone's life so part of those feelings were real. so no i haven't been divorced but i have woken up in the middle of the night feeling completely void of feeling, passion and wondering what i am suppose to do with this life. i have fallen on my knees and begged God to give me some form of direction just a little and then wanting to get up and run away from everything that seems norm. so seeing this movie allowed me to realize i'm not alone not everyone is cut out for the american dream some people are destined to create their own dream and the realization of that is a terrifying thing. when its your own there is no road map so how do you know if you are doing it right? you don't but here's the thing i believe that when you get to that moment where your spirit is at peace you are on the right track.
what you think i wouldn't make a love reference of course i am so in the movie liz runs away from the american dream and everything everyone has told her whole life is what she is suppose to do and in going against the grain she became someone she didn't even know she could become and helped others along her journey. here's what i realized love is no always about another person because not everyone is destined for that path but if you can find something that you love enough to be passionate about then you have achieved what many of the world cannot.

love over power

so i just watch the young victoria it was more then i expected it to be. i knew tales of queen of victoria and i'm sure this movie romanticized it to some degree but it got me to thinking....can love and power work together when its the woman who holds it?
during the course of the movie i found myself in the shoes of queen victoria not knowing who to trust even when the most trustworthy person was right next to her. power has a way of blinging you while love confuses you. there was one pertinent line though where a character said trust your instinct it will lead you - i thought it poignant that he did not say your mind or your heart but your instinct.
sometimes in love i think we quiet our instincts to the point where we no longer recognize them and then we wonder how we were ever lead a stray. we take everyone's opinion and advice but then get upset at ourselves when we make mistakes without realizing that we have made mistakes based of the decisions of others. can power and love reign togther queen victoria and king albert did it for 20 years and in a day and age where 5 year marriages are a milestone i dare to say they got something right.
so i will listen to my heart, head my minds warnings but will follow my instincts and in the end if there is a mistake it will be mine to make and mine alone.

is sex the only thing left in the city?

so i saw the movie sex and the city 2 despite critics i loved it but thats probably because i'm a fan; but please believe that i wasnt blind to the fact the women were older you could see it; there were glimpses of scenes where the age showed a wrinkle here, a little loose skin there. here's the thing do you rush to romance so you are not old and alone or do you wait until the real thing finds you no matter how long it takes you? so after my movie i had a 30 minute battle with myself about whether or not to go get a glass of wine from my neighborhood hangout (that will remain nameless for the sake of privacy lmao) in the end the wine won but not without proving to me that i don't want to be in the meat market race anymore.
i won't pretend that i have not had my share of indescretions, however there is something about watching men oggle have drunk women that turns your stomach just a little bit. is that what i look like after a night of partying God i hope not! but i guess in the moment you don't think about it but i know my husband won't find me there, its not to say true love can't be found anywhere but i'll take my chances that the odds are against my husband finding me in a half drunken daze at my neighborhood hangout. so i will continue to enjoy myself on this quest but when you have a moment pause take a look around you and watch the exchange of men and women its fascinating and if you want something really exciting add alcohol and stir and then let me know if sex is the only thing left in the city?

letters of the heart

so I just watched the movie dear john. in this day and age its crazy to think i actually read the book by nicholas sparks prior to seeing the movie but i did and i'm happy i did because it only intensified my enjoyment of the movie. is it really possible to experience these moments that are depicted in film or even in writing? i'm not a crier but the feelings and the emotions are so heartfelt that i was moved to tears by both the book and the movie. the possibility of not finding love will never surpass finding love and losing it either voluntarily or involuntarily. it hurts to think that the circumstances of our life can create the challenges that may prevent us from experiencing what we are working so hard to achieve...love; even if we don't realize that it is what we are working so hard to achieve.

movies and love

so I just watched the movies when in rome and leap year and i know this may seem crazy but what's so wrong about wanting to have the love that is in the movies. i have had people tell me that its not real its not possible but my rebuttal is that someone had to think of the movie for it to exist so forgive me if i believe the potential exists to live and experience true love.
yes i understand that an hour and forty five minutes is not enough time to create and experience love but its a great starting point when your goal is to achieve the real thing.
i sometimes worry about whether or not i will ever get married but i am more afraid of being married or committed to the wrong person.
so the decision is to either be happy for as long as happiness allows or be content until contenment is not enough?
i am not blind to the fact that marriage is more than just love but i do believe that we have lost love in our need for everything right now society.
i've looked for love in all the wrong places but what i've learned from these "chick flicks" is that they have a main theme when the female stopped looking for love, love was able to find her.
so as i transition into another stage of my life (i just turned 31) i need to focus on the other areas of my life that bring me joy and happiness - getting into the peace corps, my family, my friends and creating a legacy that lasts way after i am gone. my thought is that while i get busy living my life love will find its way into my life.